Okay…really late to the game here, but I don’t think I missed much. I know I’m uber-biased, but this is going to do a number on my psyche. It’s a good thing I’m not a big drinker, otherwise, I’d have alcohol poisoning before this week is over.
It’s 7:24, and this thing has been going on for over an hour. I think I missed Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. How tragic. The last 15 minutes has been brutal, but this is where I’m joining PBS’s coverage. Oh, hello Jesse Jackson: pillar of morality and common sense. (Warning: sarcasm is going to be rampant the next three days.)
Now the NARAL spokeswoman (Nancy Keenan) is spewing abortion talking points. The disgusting thing is that she’s getting huge cheers. It’s sickening. Naturally, she had to bring up the media-created controversy involving Todd Akin, and the hideousness that is Sandra Fluke. I love how this broad (yeah, I’m using demeaning terms for women who have demeaned themselves for aligning with such horrible agencies) never mentions the child these women are carrying. “Women in America cannot trust Mitt Romney…He would repeal ObamaCare.” I fail to see the problem here. Seriously, you should hear this broad. And it’s the Republicans who are the angry party. Remember how last week I was saying that there weren’t any unattractive women at the RNC? Yeah, not the case here. Actually, I’m having difficulty figuring out which ones are men, and which are women.
Ugh. Sheilds (aka “the wattle”) and Brook (aka “the NYT douche bag”) are back. Nice, Brook actually just made a decent point. Of the 32 speakers, they’re either a politician, labor leader, or activist. No one speaking is from the private sector.
Tammy Duckworth just took the stage. She’s running for the House in Illinois, and she’s a double amputee Iraq veteran. I don’t want to sound cynical, but I’m pretty sure she’s just being trotted out for military credentials. Too bad she doesn’t know that she’s just a ploy. Dude. Is that an old man chomping on a cigar? I’d need something stronger. Nice. There’s a guy with earbuds in. Super respectful. Eesh! It’s “Plugs” Biden! Oh, and there’s the “Obama got Osama” reference. And naturally, we had to have the obligatory DADT and women in combat references. And now for the sympathy pull. Whoa! The “USA! USA! USA!” chant. I didn’t think that was possible with this crowd. I applaud her service, but I feel bad that she doesn’t see her appearance here as anything more than a ploy.
Governor Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island just took the stage. He’s the only “Independent” governor, which is kind of like saying that Barney Frank is a bisexual. It’s a farce, which is why he’s here, at the Democrat National Convention. “We’re liberal in the best sense of the word.” There’s a good sense of the word. “There’s really nothing conservative about today’s Republican party.” Logic, buddy, get some. Oh, so that’s why he’s here, to be Al Gore’s surrogate. “We believe in freedom.” No you don’t. Now the obligatory abortion and gay rights statements. I’m bored. Now we’re on to education. Sure, talk up the public education system that liberals have wrecked and then blame Republicans for wanting to give people a choice in education. Lame. “We believe in fiscal responsibility.” I didn’t know this was a comedy show. Oh…there he is. Barney Frank. Dude. I’m kind of psychic. “…the values of Abraham Lincoln.” Who was a Republican. What is this show, besides a comedy? A Democrat hour with special guest appearances from former RINOs who have finally come out of the political closet?
Stacey Lihn, a mother – who must be an activist – just took the podium to talk about how much she cried with joy when ObamaCare passed and was upheld by the SCOTUS. This is disgusting. Trot out children to sell a policy. And her little girl is crying. It is pretty sad. Sad that the Democrats are stooping so low. And now the “Four More Years” chant has started. Lame.
Former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland just took the stage. Is there a reason he’s yelling? Oh, he’s the union talker. Okay…took a little break from typing for a little liquid refreshment. Unfortunately, there’s no alcohol in my pad. This has been tough to listen to. Strickland is an angry little man that’s trying to rip Romney apart. Lame.
And now, Kathleen Sebelius, former Kansas governor and current Secretary of Health and Human Services. I loathe this woman. The scary thing is that she’ll have so much power if this legislative atrocity that she’s propping up is fully enacted. “ObamaCare is a badge of honor.” Well, that’s telling. “If you’re under age 26, you can stay on your parent’s plan.” Isn’t that sad? To basically say, “Just be a slacker until you’re almost 30.” I can’t stand that she’s propping up Obama passing ObamaCare when it was actually the idiots in Congress who actually did so. Sure, he spearheaded it and signed it, but it was the loons in Congress who wrote the elements she’s spewing on about…and then they didn’t read it. Really, Kathleen? You want to talk about Medicare? How about talking about how ObamaCare robs from Medicare to pay for its huge bill. I’m so bored. “If you work hard and play by the rules…” These people are robots.
Here’s Rahm Emmanuel, mayor of Chicago, and future convicted felon (if you go by Illinois government officials’ track record). This guy just looks like a rat. A rat with a fake tan, that is. “…we have a once in a generation president.” I hope he’s this generation’s Jimmy Carter. Again with the robot statements about infrastructure, Wall Street, and 29 months of employment growth. People who buy this load of [malarkey] should really have their heads examined. He’s really having trouble getting this speech out without stumbling. His microchip must be malfunctioning. I love how people are propping up how Obama saved the auto industry. Yeah, maneuvered to save the industry by bailing them out…before they eventually filed for bankruptcy anyways. How’s that Chevy Volt doing, Rahm? “The president never changed his views to suit the audience or the moment.” [Malarkey.] Gay marriage, anyone? A delegate is holding up signs saying “Demand our right to travel to Cuba.” So confused.
So, Barack’s sister, Maya Soetoro-Ng, and Michelle’s brother, Craig Robinson, have taken the stage. What’s all this talk about Head Start? Propping up another government agency? “He named two brilliant women who understand our lives to the Supreme Court.” I wouldn’t call them brilliant. I’m more prone to the term “activist”.
Sorry, I got bored. So I went to make supper.
Lilly Ledbetter, an equal-pay activist, is at the podium. I’m pretty sure her plastic surgeon needs fired. Have I mentioned how boring this thing is? It’s basically a bunch of angry talking heads.
Governor Deval Patrick from Massachusetts just left the podium. Passionate, and I’ll give him credit for telling Democrats to grow a backbone. Other than that, it’s nothing you haven’t heard on [P]MSNBC.
I’m so bored. Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley has got the drones in the crowd chanting “Forward, not back” on cue. He’s passionate as well, but every speech so far has been the same. Pretty sure Debbie Wasserman-Schultz got the talking points pounded into their heads.
Joaquin Castro, a Texas State Representative, just took the podium to introduce his twin brother, Julian Castro, mayor of San Antonio. “[San Antonio] looks like the America of tomorrow.” How deep am I supposed to read into that? And there’s I Got a Feelin’ by the Black Eyed Peas. Whoever organizes events this big should take notes: that is the most overplayed song for any gathering and should be stricken from playlists henceforth. So, Julian has taken the stage this convention’s keynote address. He’s just going through backstory. I’m only half listening. Now he’s talking about hard work. What would a Democrat know about that? They promote a welfare state. Oh, how ironic. There’s will.i.am. Figures. “How do we multiply success? The answer is Barack Obama.” Oh, this guy is funny. I wonder who writes his jokes. And now he’s going from nice guy to tough guy. Not a smooth transition. Could the people in this audience be more lemming-like? “Mitt Romney says no!” Even this guy’s daughter has her hands over her ears. Kids shouldn’t be submitted to this circus. Oh, there it is. Bringing up the deportation fiasco. Yeah, that’s a good plan. Support breaking laws. And now we’re on to class warfare – a common theme from tonight, I’ve just been too bored with the talking points to bring it up. I do find the idea that Obama brings jobs home ironic when so much of the stimulus plan gave money to companies overseas. But then, hypocrisy is okay when you’re a Democrat. And now we’re back to the personal sob story. Normally, I’d be inspired by it. Unfortunately, this guy just sounds like any other public school-educated drone that is predisposed to be liberal. He’s done. Meh. This guy’s got nothing on Chris Christie. We’ll welcome him into the Republican party when he comes to his senses.
And now we’re treated to a video about Michelle. Oh, how I just can’t wait for this…I wonder if she’ll talk about when she became proud to be an American. Oh, hello Valerie Jarrett – daughter of an Iranian Communist. You’re one to talk about legacy. I love how this video is trying to make her human. She’s got nothing on Ann Romney. You know, I don’t really care about her wanting to educate kids about exercise and diet, but it’s another to force kids and their parents into adopting her agenda. So bored with this video. And now we’re on to the first family. Bored. I wonder how long before these girls go all Lindsay Lohan. I truly hope not, but I wouldn’t be surprised.
Elaine Brye, a military mom, just walked out to introduce Michelle. “I’m not even a political person.” [Malarkey.] Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. How many people write Christmas letters to politicians? It must have said, “I’m a political ploy. Use me.”
It’s 9:39pm. I bet she doesn’t get off the stage before 10:00pm, but here she is. Michelle Obama, in rare form. You know, trying to be genuine. It’s hard not to compare this little bit of her speech about who she’s seen across the country to the hands bit from Rick Santorum’s speech last week. This one pales in comparison. And now we’re on to trying to humanize Barack. “When Barack started telling me about his family…I knew I’d found a kindred spirit.” Oh, your family was routed in Marxism, Communism, and Anti-colonialism too? Small world. And now we’re back to the equal pay mantra. Look, there’s nothing wrong with equal pay, but have these people ever heard of beating a dead horse? Or is this just trying to prop up one of the administration’s few less confrontational/controversial successes? “Being president doesn’t change who you are. It reveals who you are.” Again, how deep am I supposed to read into that? And now she’s hitting all of Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s talking points. And probably the biggest cheer thus far was about choices women make with their bodies. What about the child that they may be carrying. Who in your party will stand up for them? “…these issues aren’t political.” [Malarkey.] Everything with Democrats is political. There’s the “who we love” talking point. Again. We get it. Democrats love the gays. We don’t hate them; we just don’t think we need to redefine marriage to coddle them. “We can trust Barack to do what he says he’s gonna do.” Then why is Guantanamo still open? Why hasn’t he gone line by line in a budget? Why haven’t the seas began to recede or the planet begun to heal yet? Broken promises, Michelle. Don’t try to spin it. We’re not stupid. Apparently a bunch of folks in that convention hall are, but Americans are not. Oh, 10:00pm. She’s still going. “Surely we can get to the polls on election day and make our voices heard.” Pretty sure I’m reading too far into this, but I’m pretty sure that was a voter ID subtext. Nice. A dude with a Robin Hood hat. Too bad he missed the point. Oh, is she going to do it? Tear up? Great actress, that Michelle. I wish she was being genuine, but I just don’t buy it for a second. Well delivered speech and easily the best of the night. And why isn’t Barack here, the way Mitt was here for Ann? Oh, that’s right. He’s out trying to salvage a fledging campaign. Michelle has nothing on Ann Romney, but she did her best to try to deliver a similarly-themed speech as she did last Tuesday. Fail.
And now, the talking heads are [self-gratifying] in the PBS box. I’m not listening any more. I didn’t even catch the first hour and fifteen minutes and it was still brutal at every turn. Sure, Michelle almost sounded like someone with a soul, but it’s a farce. Everything with these people is a ploy to get voters. I’m not buying it. One night down, two to go, and it only gets worse from here folks. I won’t be offended if you don’t stay tuned.
No comments:
Post a Comment