Okay, since I reviewed The
Force Awakens and recently watched all eight movies in one sitting, I
figured a review of Rogue One is also
in order. I was pretty pumped in the
lead-up to it, despite the PC pandering that was obviously in high gear. The idea of exploring stories apart from the
Skywalker saga was very enticing. Plus,
when the backdrop is precursory events merely mentioned in A New Hope, it was hard to resist getting a little excited. With Gareth Edwards, who had recently given
us a moderately entertaining and fairly mythos-honoring monster feature in
2014’s Godzilla, Lucasfilm again was
not going with the time-tested big-name director. Plus, there was a wildly diverse cast. Would it pay off?
T
Since Rogue One is
a departure from the standard Star Wars film, I’m just going to give you a
non-standard review. Here are my
thoughts…unformatted are indifferent, italicized
are negatives, and bold is positive…in
somewhat chronological order.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prelude lacks gravity, but sets up the characters. Ben Mendelsohn and Mas Mikkelsen do their
best to elevate their characters above one note characters, but are kind of
shortchanged by the script.
Why does Krennic’s
ship “park” so far away? Who are the death troopers, and why are they
special?
No opening crawl.
Cool asteroid city thing, but it seemed more like a concept
artist payoff than something plausible.
Cassian. I get
that he’s supposed to be morally ambiguous, but I really don’t like how he just
kills a guy outright. Not just here, but
later on Jedha.
Jedha. Lazy name for the Jedi homeworld or whatever.
Exposition. So much exposition.
Diversity. Alright, let me just get this out of the
way. I hate what they’re doing to Star
Wars in the name of pandering to social justice warrior crybabies who need a
cinematic safe space. Yes, I get that that galaxy far, far away is
probably just as diverse as our planet is, but I just question intent.
Protagonist: white female (again).
Protagonists’ friends: Latin male, a black-ish droid, a pair of Asian
males (who some have suggested are a gay couple), and an Arabic male. Rebel leaders: white female, Latin man, black
woman, white male (who is the detractor), and alien male. Antagonist: old white male. Other antagonists: old white males – one in a
black suit. Then there’s the whole Jedha
holy city bit, where it’s essentially a stand-in for Mecca – complete with
elaborate, Islamic-inspired garb.
Thereby, the Empire is clearly Islamophobic. Okay, I’ll stop…for now.
K-2SO. Say what you
will about Star Wars’ overreliance on droid humor, but I loved K-2SO. Voiced by the versatile Alan Tudyk; he has the best dialogue in this flick.
Nostalgia. The expansive
take on the Rebel fortress on Yavin 4 was great. Seeing the AT-ST on Jedha was pretty cool
too. Even the modified AT-AT walkers on
Scarif were pretty great too, if a little too easily taken down.
The Music. Michael Giachinno is not John Williams. While repeated viewings have left me less
jaded by this fact, it is still noticeably underwhelming compared to the
Skywalker saga’s scores.
Mon Mothma and Bail
Organa. It was a move that nicely tied
the first trilogy with the prequel trilogy without dredging up all the bad
feelings of the prequels. It’s nice that
they cast the Genevieve O’Reilly, who played Mothma in scenes cut from the
prequels, and her striking resemblance to Caroline Blakiston in ROTJ sure helps. But she’s a nice expanded cameo, even if she’s
a little heavy on exposition. Having
Jimmy Smitts back as Bail Organa was nice too, especially when he discusses his
“friend, the Jedi” with Mothma, as well as someone he trusts with his
life. These were nice moments, even if
they felt a little forced.
“I find that answer
vague and unconvincing.” – K-2SO
Saw Gerrera. Aka, discount Vader…but even that seems
overly kind. He’s loud, incoherent, and
ultimately pointless. Forrest Whittaker
is over-the-top, and his motivations seem shady at best. Plus, his connection to Jyn’s parents is
never explained…but I’m okay with that, because this movie is so heavy on
exposition already.
Jyn. Look, I have no real problem with a female
protagonist if it’s in service to a story, or even if it’s to say that there
are strong women. I also think that Felicity Jones really tries to bring that to the table, but as with TFA, this one feels more like Kathleen Kennedy
wants to push an affirmative action agenda, as opposed to focusing on the
narrative. That being said, she’s not a
woman of color, she appears to identify as a female, and she doesn’t go on a
man-hating tirade…so I’m sure feminists hate her for the same reasons they hate
the straight, white version of Wonder Woman that hit screens earlier this
year. My real problems with her are that
she doesn’t evoke feminine qualities that made her predecessors endearing
(aside from Padme’s penchant for emo men).
She’s tempestuous, far too serious, and has a wishy-washy agenda. I guess she does have the angry part down, so
feminists probably relate to that. And I
guess maybe her little Stormtrooper takedown with a truncheon could represent
her taking down her male oppressors. So
maybe she is a feminist icon after all.
Bodi. You’re probably expecting me to go off about
his ethnicity. Well, sorry to
disappoint, but I’ve already done that.
It’s doesn’t matter what diversity quota he’s filling, I found his
character half-written at best. A
defecting Imperial pilot is “local”, so he’s sent to Saw with a message that
Galen wants Jyn to see? The Saw part I get
(sort of), but they really have no use for him otherwise. They could’ve easily just left him out, since
his miniscule part to play was already exposited in an earlier
conversation.
Bor gullet. A mind-reading terra-octupus? Sounds more like they wanted to get a
creature in the movie and an excuse for a polygraph. Lame.
The Death Star
Construction. Talk about showing the
scale of that thing.
Tarkin. I really like
that they brought him back, and the CGI is actually pretty good. However, I think they could’ve done the less
is more approach. Maybe just show his
reflection in the window, or just show him sneer over his shoulder at
Krennic? Still, it’s nice to have him
show up as a nostalgic call back.
“Rebellions are built
on hope.” Skip.
Guardians of the
Wills. So…force groupies? Some of the bits were okay, and it felt like
there were a couple of chances for character development when Chirrut senses
something in Cassian and Jyn, but both of these moments were never expanded
on. Not that we needed more expositive
backstory, but it felt like a missed opportunity.
“There are a lot of
explosions for two people blending in.” – K-2SO
Chirrut’s Stormtrooper
takedown. Illogical, but fun.
Crash on Eadu. The affirmative action coalition survives
this.
The death of Galen Erso.
It was pretty predictable, but ultimately necessary to propel the plot,
specifically for Jyn. There was hope for
a reunion, only to have those hopes dashed.
But since the majority of the narrative around Galen is through a
prelude and a hologram, it’s hard to be terribly affected by his death.
Vader’s Castle. You’d think that Vader would evade lava after
his misfortunes on Mustafar led to his becoming more machine than man. However, instead of running, he embraces
it. Though not mentioned in the movie,
his castle is on Mustafar, and it is glorious.
The whole scene where Krennic visits him is great. So nice to have James Earl Jones lend his
iconic vocal chords to the role again.
Plus, his dialogue is classic.
Who is Vader’s butler?
Snoke?
The Rebel Council
scene. This feels like manufactured
tension. Sure, it’s great to see the Mon
Calamari represented by Admiral Raddus, in a callback to ROTJ, but the rest of
the scene plays out like a clichéd hawks vs doves debate, with Jyn – an outsider
with questionable motives and little to no evidence to support her claims –
injecting herself into the conversation in an attempt to garner support for an
attack. Then she does a little callback
to that tagline from before. Skip.
“May the Force be with
us.” Ugh. Force-d.
C-3PO and R2-D2
cameo. Instead of obliging them into the
narrative the way the prequels did, they just get little flyby scene, and I liked
it.
Jyn’s pep talk. Skip.
“Good luck, little
sister.” Why? Baze has had little to no interaction with
Jyn up to this point. Why would he say
this? Manufactured emotion.
“For Jedha!” Really?
Why would this be a pre-charge cry by Rebel forces? They lost nothing on Jedha, and really, in
the grand scheme of things, that planet being destroyed affected very
little.
The space
battle. Even though I loved the space
battle in ROTJ, this one was almost
equally as wonderful. Even with the
hammerheads (a “Rebels” shoutout) and ion cannons acting as deus ex machines
(yes, that was intentional), it was epic.
Honestly, even if it was essentially mirroring ROTJ, right down to the Mon Calimari admiral running the show, I still
was enraptured.
The Scarif surface battle.
Some of it is fine, and it’s
vastly better than the Endor surface battle, but I really didn’t care about
what was going on there, as much as I did what was going on in space.
I didn’t really care
about any of the characters as they were getting picked off. Chirrut had a moment where his “I am one with
the force and the force is with me” moment seemed to pay off, only to be offed
in a manufactured emotional scene between him and Baze. Baze’s guns blazing death was illogical,
since he was essentially a superweapon when we met him on Jedha, but basically
wanted to die after Chirrut’s death.
Bodi’s death was akin to Dobby’s death in Harry Potter…”Meh.”
His line, “This is for you, Galen” seems to recount a relationship
between him and Jyn’s father, but there’s no basis for it in the cinematic
narrative.
The only death with emotional payoff was K-2SO, with him
sacrificing himself to give Jyn and Cassian a chance. Kind of sad to see my favorite character’s
eyes go dark. Perhaps it’s because I identify
most with a droid? Does that make me
transtechual?
Everyone dies. I’ll give Disney credit for the ballsy move
in letting Edwards and his writing team off everyone. It was kind of in line with what Edwards
wanted to do, making this a war movie. Not
only that, but what would’ve been an easy moment of forced romance between Jyn
and Cassian was put off for a friendly embrace of fate.
The music in the
final moments. This is the only time I’ll give Michael Giachinno a pass, if
only because he does his best John Williams impression in these moments.
T
HE END VADER SCENE. The English language lacks the requisite words
to describe the nerdgasm that takes place in this all too brief scene. Is it enough to save the rest of the picture
from all it’s faults? No. But it does wipe away some more lackluster
elements.
Leia. Sure, it’s probably nostalgia mixed with
tragedy, but this was a nice scene that makes you want to go pop in ANH immediately to watch a better, if
older, story. And the CGI is noticeable,
but not terrible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ll just say it. I
liked this movie a lot more the first time than on repeated viewings. It’s not a disaster, but it leaves a lot to
be desired. There was a lot of footage
left out of the final film that was in the trailers – a trend becoming all too
familiar these days. It didn’t leave me
groaning, but it left me a little less optimistic about the future of spin-off
movies. Let’s be honest: this was the
fourth prequel. And it feels like it,
without emo Anakin. There is enough fan
service in there to make it enjoyable and it does take some risks, but other
things it plays too close to the vest or writes off altogether. But that Vader scene at the end, right?
I know it doesn’t really rank as an “episode” per se (maybe “Episode
3.9” would be applicable?), but here’s where it falls in the franchise
rankings:
- Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
- Episode IV: A New Hope
- Episode VII: The Force Awakens
- Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
- Episode I: The Phantom Menace
- Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
- Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
- Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Yes, I felt like I just wrote an episode of Cinema
Sins.
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