The Obama Show: 2015 State of the Union Edition

Sorry I haven’t blogged in so long.  Been busy and pretty detached from the Internet.  But I knew you folks would be expecting this, so here it is. 

Let’s get this over with.

Apparently the drinking game is hinged on “we turn the page”.  And yes, I’m pre-reading this so I don’t have to watch him walk in.  Am I the only one who thinks this speech is pointless now that we know exactly what he’s going to say?  Not that there has ever been a reason to sit through so many of these shows.

I guess we’ll see if this is a comedy, a dramedy, or a straight up thriller, but one thing I can promise – it will be completely detached from reality. 

Seriously, let’s get this over with. 8:10, and we’re just hearing the gavel. 

Yawn.  Already over this.  It’s all posturing, no substance.  They’re hailing it as a victory speech.  What, pray tell, is the victory? 

“…our combat mission in Afghanistan is over”…until we have to go back and fix it. 

“The shadow of crisis has passed, and the State of the Union is strong.” [Malarkey]

“Everyone who makes the effort”…to get a handout?

“Will we allow ourselves to be sorted into factions and turned against one another”  WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST 7 YEARS!

“I will send this Congress a budget filled with ideas that are practical, not partisan.”  Nothing about the Democrat playbook is practical, but rather all partisan.

First sob-story of the night.  Yawn.  Seriously.  Boehner could not look more bored. 

Now on to energy.  “…the typical family this year should save $750 at the pump.”  That should pay for about a quarter of their health insurance premium increases, thanks. 

Now onto health care.  “we were told our goals were misguided or too ambitious; that we would crush jobs and explode deficits”  They were and they did. 

He just went off script.  Not majorly, but noticeably if you’re reading along.  Trying to be all passionate about his veto threat.  Now he’s trying the comedy thing…and failing.

He’s putting words in this poor woman’s mouth.  Maybe if government would leave us alone, we’d have more opportunity. 

“That’s what middle-class economics is — the idea that this country does best when everyone gets their fair shot, everyone does their fair share, and everyone plays by the same set of rules. We don’t just want everyone to share in America’s success — we want everyone to contribute to our success.”  Could this sound any more communist?

“…helping folks afford childcare, college, health care, a home, retirement ” All of which are privleges, not rights.

Tax cuts for childcare, paid leave laws.  Really.  That’s what we’ve come to? 

Is the other drinking cue, “It’s the right thing to do.”?

Now he’s lecturing Congress on minimum wage and other nonsensical issues – all designed to make the Republicans look bad and the party of no.  This is a sham.  The whole thing is a waste of my time. 

Another drinking cue, “That’s a fact.”  Clearly you put no stock in facts. 

“too many bright, striving Americans are priced out of the education they need.” Thanks to your friends in the education industry…yes, I said industry. 

Free community college.  Seriously.  I’m so bored with this.  That just means our community colleges will be churning out the same illiterate, poorly-educated, mindless, Democrat-voting students as our high school students in a completely broken education system. 

I can’t be the only one who’s reading into the token veteran in the crowd being black, can I?  Yeah, didn’t think so.  Again, posturing. 

You know, he talks a good game about the economy and bringing jobs back to America.  Well maybe if you and your big government cronies weren’t strangling businesses to death with taxes and regulations, they’d come back.  Again, these people don’t understand logic. 

“businesses need 21st century infrastructure — modern ports, stronger bridges, faster trains and the fastest internet. Democrats and Republicans used to agree on this. So let’s set our sights higher than a single oil pipeline. Let’s pass a bipartisan infrastructure plan…”  I thought this is what the stimulus plan was supposed to do.  Oh, that’s right.  You’re talking to the people who’ve forgotten or were too stupid to realize that that bill was nothing but a slush fund for the Democrat party. 

Oh my bacon.  He just asked the astronaut to “Instagram it.”  That just happened.  Ladies and gentlemen, we have a president obsessed with social media.  He’s the Kim Kardashian of politics.  Completely useless. 

And now we’re on to class warfare and vilifying big business.  Yawn. 

“We need a tax code that truly helps working Americans trying to get a leg up in the new economy, and we can achieve that together.”  Easy.  Flat tax.  Shut down the IRS.  End of story. 

It saddens me every time he refers to himself as “Commander-In-Chief”.  What a mockery of the title.  It should be a prerequisite of the office to have served in the armed forces. 

“First, we stand united with people around the world who’ve been targeted by terrorists — from a school in Pakistan to the streets of Paris.”  Which is funny, because you weren’t willing to send anyone of even moderate importance to walk in unity with them.  Honestly, I don’t really care, but I’m pretty sure they just didn’t want to be linked with Benjamin Netanyahu.  Which just shows how petty this administration is. 

 “And tonight, I call on this Congress to show the world that we are united in this mission by passing a resolution to authorize the use of force against ISIL.”  This intrigues me.  Wasn’t ISIL/ISIS who you were getting ready to arm in Syria?  Do your homework, people.

He’s trying to talk up his credentials versus Putin.  Epic fail. 

Cuba.  Why the love for Cuba?  I don’t get it.  And now he’s invoking the Pope.  How absurd. 

And who the deuce is Alan Gross?  Oh yeah, he’s the guy we traded five spies for.  You know, because that’s what we do now, have a 1 for 5 trade agreement with those hostile to America. 

Diplomacy with Iran.  Yeah, because that’s really worked with people who hate us. 

Cyber-security.  Yawn.  Can we move onto something more substantive?  Oh, Ebola.  Yay.

I forgot to add the drinking cue, “bipartisan”. 

“And no challenge — no challenge — poses a greater threat to future generations than climate change.”  Yep, he went there. 

“The Pentagon says that climate change poses immediate risks to our national security.” What nutjob at the Pentagon said that?  You should fire them. 

“There’s one last pillar to our leadership — and that’s the example of our values.”  You’re failing epically. 

Shout-outs galore.  Muslims, women, and gays.  Slight mention of anti-Semitism, but couldn’t say the word “Jews”. 

“We do these things not only because they’re right, but because they make us safer.” Safer against who?  The gay Muslim mafia? 

Close Gitmo.  Yawn. 

Oh, just stop.  His next sob-story – his own.  So bored. 

“How ironic, they say, that our politics seems more divided than ever… the vision itself is misguided, and naïve”  Not ironic.  We were right.  We knew you’d be divisive, and you came through.  And your vision wasn’t misguided or naïve, it was calculated and destructive. 

Gay marriage shout-out. 

Is he really going to stand here and lecture Congress on “arguing past each other on cable shows, the constant fundraising, always looking over your shoulder at how the base will react to every decision”? Yes, yes he is.  He has the gall to do so. 

“but let’s make them debates worthy of this body and worthy of this country.”  Oh, really?  Seriously folks, the irony isn’t even funny anymore. 

Women’s health care, immigration, and campaign finance shout-outs.  No substance, just an opportunity for the Democrats to applaud. 

And yes, he did just evoke Ferguson and New York, and, to a lesser extent, Trayvon Martin.  But he’s not divisive. 

 “I have no more campaigns to run.”  Tepid applause from the right. [Off script] “I know, because I won both of them.”  More vociferous applause from the left.   

Blah, Blah, Blah. 

“Thank you, God bless you, and God bless this country we love.”  We can’t say “the United States of America”? 

9:10.  Right at an hour. About 59 minutes too long, but possibly his shortest. 

Now even FOX is onto saying how bad Republicans look – like they needed any more bad press after they reelected Boehner as Speaker.  I’m not even sure I want to sit through the Republican response.  I’m pretty put out with the party as a whole, though, the worst Republicans are generally better than the best Democrats. 

Joni Ernst, newly elected senator from Iowa. 

“…rather than respond to a speech, I’d rather talk about your priorities.”  Yeah, it’s posturing, but it’s a nice offset to the last heinous hour.

Yeah, I’m not into this.  She kind of looks like a robot.  Too soothing, too polished. 

Keystone shout-out.  I forgot to include the presidents little jab at it. 

I do dig the fact that she’s in the National Guard.  She could run for president with that credential.  Needs to work on her delivery and authenticity, but she’s got her service on her side. 

It’s all good stuff, but I’m just cynical, I guess. 

She’s really propping up “the new Republican Congress.” 

Her tag out was much better than his sign-off. 

Okay, I’m out.  Can’t take any more.  Those who didn’t watched missed nothing.  I envy you.