Glee: Season 3 Review

Full disclosure: I started writing this back in August, when I first watched the season.  I was so frustrated by the end of my Netflix sessions with the season, that I abandoned the review to focus on anything else.  I also hit kind of a writers-lull, so I didn’t get around to starting this thing again, until I begrudgedly re-watched the season last month.  Basically, what it had boiled down to was that I finished watching the latest seasons of “Archer” and “Parks & Rec” and thought I’d give this season another shot.  The second time was not the charm.

This show started off with so much promise.  Then it kind of veered off into lacklusterness late in the first season.  By the time the second season took off, it was clear the writers had an agenda and used kids as their pawns – like any good liberal would.  This season isn’t worse than the second, but it’s no better.  The show isn’t as agenda-driven, but it’s kind of descended into irrelevance.   Plus, for a show aimed at teens or younger, it’s very dirty and features themes totally inappropriate for kids not yet old enough to understand them.  Granted, they’re being brainwashed this crap every day in internment camps, er, um, public schools.  But what started as a relatively smart show with good music, has devolved into after-school specials on losing your virginity, learning Spanish to benefit your future, bullying-induced suicide prevention, teenage marriage, texting while driving, devaluing Christianity, and transgender promotion. 

I’m pretty sure that I continue to watch the show because of three possible scenarios:

1. I’m a masochist.
2. It’s such a train-wreck that I just have to watch.
3. I’m in love with Santana and Rachel.

You be the judge. (After the jump...)

It’s the same format as last year, folks. 

Power Players:

 

1) Santana Lopez
Why do I love the character that the writers ruined in Season 2?  Because, 1) she’s still smokin’ hot, 2) she takes it to the beta male known as Will Shuester better than anyone this season – even Sue! – and 3) she’s still got the pipes and attitude that attracted me to her in the first place.  Sure, the writers still don’t know what to do with her when she’s not cutting down people with her vicious, vicious words, but she’s the most likable character of the season.  And even though the show’s agenda does its best to drag her down, she’s the only character that feels genuine, even if she’s a total [tempestuous woman].
Best musical performance: “Rumor Has It/Someone Like You” by Adele
Worst musical performance: “Constant Craving” by K.D. Lang (which isn’t terribly sung, it’s just her weakest song)

2) Noah “Puck” Puckerman
Much like Santana, Puck is the most honest about who he is.  He’s doesn’t have huge aspirations, but      he’s driven.  That is, by almost anything but school.  That’s why I actually liked his character.  I didn’t like that he was lazy, but that he saw through the façade of high school.  However, what I really found hilarious is his interaction with Shelby Corcoran.  Hilarious.  Wrong, but hilarious.
Best musical performance: “Hot for Teacher” by Van Halen
Worst musical performance: “I’m the Only One” by Melissa Etheridge (Puck’s version is better than the original, but it’s still a weak song.)

3) Mercedes Jones
Why did Mercedes land above Rachel this year?  Three words: lack of drama.  Sure, the writers never really have known what to do with her character.  Do we make her all-out diva?  Do we explore her gospel roots?  Do we make her Rachel’s foil?  Too much time meandering, not enough time with her belting.  Trying to involve her in a love triangle was completely unnecessary.  Just give her some Christina, Aretha, or Whitney to sing and leave it at that.  Though, her head to head with Rachel was one of the highlights of the season.  Lowest point of the season: her quip to Sue about donating to the Obama campaign.  So annoying.  Pretty sure that landed her (Amber Riley, that is) a gig singing the national anthem at the DNC.
Best musical performance: “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston
Worst musical performance: “It’s All Over” from Dreamgirls (because it just doesn’t suit the situation)

4) Rachel Berry
Look, I love Rachel.  Her vocal prowess and sheer talent are nigh unmatchable.  But seriously, this season pretty much watered her down to nothing more than an annoying side show.  First, she should have dropped Finn last season (or before).  She and Puck are the more natural fit, and the whole teen marriage thing got old quick.  Second, her relationship with Kurt is merely a way to make Kurt more relevant.  This is Rachel’s show, and he just tries to photo bomb her ascent to stardom.  Third, her proverbially choking in her audition made no sense whatsoever.  Rachel doesn’t choke, she defies expectations.  She had some great moments this season, but it seems that this was just a setup for the next one and reduced her down to a bare minimum.
Best musical performance: (multi-way tie) “Somewhere” and “One Hand, One Heart” from West Side Story, “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack (Tina, Santana, and Mercedes were also great on that song), “Cry” by Kelly Clarkson, “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” by Celine Dion (proving once again that Rachel>Celine), and “Roots Before Branches” by Room for Two
Worst musical performance: “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie (because she’s so much better than this song)

5) Sue Sylvester

How far Sue has fallen.  Sure, the writers pretty much wrecked her last season and ran her even further into the ground this season, but she’s still Sue.  But honestly, this is like the neutered version of her former self.  After her failed attempt at running for Congress, her ruined persona comes full circle when she gets pregnant (via in vitro).  What happened to her not wanting kids because she doesn’t have the time or the uterus to do so.  It’s sad that I know this show better than the writers do.  Like, really sad.  Plus, she helps Shuester again this season.  She is supposed to be his foil, not his ally.  Humanize her all you want, but making her a friend of Shuester was the wrong thing to do.  She’s still got some great lines, but her time at the top of my list is over.
Best line: (To Roz, and unfortunately, not to Shuester) “The English language lacks the requisite words to express just how much I dislike you.”
Worst line:  “I made plans to shoot reindeer from my helicopter with Sarah Palin, but she canceled. Apparently Todd gets fussy when she misses his ballet recitals.”

6) Brittany S. Pierce

This girl is an idiot, but at least she’s not a social commentary pawn.  Instead, she’s content to be just who she is.  It is a little annoying how everyone coddles her so as not to hurt her feelings (by not telling her outright that leprechauns aren’t real or explaining to her that her cat can’t smoke), but for some reason it’s a joke that never gets old.  Sadly – but hilariously – her run for senior class president is indicative of politics today: it’s just a popularity contest and people will vote for the person who will give them the most free [stuff].  So this may be the one character the writers got right this season.
Best musical performance: “Run the World (Girls)” by Beyonce
Worst musical performance: “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses

7) Artie Abrams

Artie climbed a bit this year, but not for really doing anything.  He kind of coasted.  The writers tried to make his character a little more relevant by making him pursue directing, but it just seemed like a way to give him something to do.  I looked at it as Shuester pawning off directorial duties on a student because he’s so incapable of, well, anything.  Artie’s still got vocal chops, but they’re never really utilized the way they were the first season.  He’s not a bad character, but he doesn’t really have a whole lot to do.  
Best musical performance: “Scream” by Michael Jackson (it’s nice to see him dance again)
Worst musical performance: “What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction (he needs to not do the boy-band thing)

8) Tina Cohen-Chang

Much like Artie, Tina kind of coasted this year.  There was a last ditch effort very late in the season that tried to make her relevant.  I saw it as a “oh crap, we need to make Tina relevant for next season, because she’ll be the new Rachel of the group” effort.  It did offer some good comedic moments, but it kind of seemed too little too late.  She’s got some vocal chops on her (nothing really on Rachel, but noteworthy, nonetheless), so it might be nice to see her character fleshed out next season, but for the time being, she’s just kind of a background character.  
Best musical performance: “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion (Tina is so much better than Canine, er, Celine)
Worst musical performance: “ABC” by Michael Jackson (not because she sings poorly, but because it’s my least favorite performance with her as the lead)

9) Mike Chang

Don’t misunderstand me – the boy can dance.  His singing has vastly improved this season as well.  I just hate what the writers did with his character.  Not the whole following-your-dreams thing, but the stereotypes on steroids.  Alleging that an “A-“ is an “Asian F” was just the tip of the iceberg of how racist the writers made his character.  If they had made Mercedes eat watermelon or fried chicken, can you imagine what the NAACP would have done?  Or if they’d made one of Rachel’s dads much older than the other one?  GLAAD would have had a field day with that one.  Perpetuating stereotypes is just another thing that this show did but never got called on.  My gripe isn’t really with “boy Chang”, but with what the writers did to him.
Best musical performance: “L-O-V-E” by Nat King Cole
Worst musical performance: “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses

10) Emma Pillsbury

Normally, I’d rate Emma just above her romantic counterpart, due to her clear insanity for cohabitating with him.  Maybe she’s a lesbian?  However, she’s set to the background this year, and doesn’t really have a whole lot to do.  Her parents – who are “ginger supremecists” – were kind of funny, but illogical.  Still, her decision to give her V-Card to Shuester, only after he (that is, his kids that have more talent than he does) won nationals was a lazy writer’s concession.  And how exactly does a guidance counselor get tenure?  Still, she’s cute, but she deserves better than the beta male.  
ONLY musical performance: “Wedding Bell Blues” by The 5^th Dimension

11) Finn Hudson

I really don’t know why Finn moved up on my list this year.  (Well, actually, it’s because Quinn and Sam tanked this year, and Zizes didn’t come back, but I digress.)  Finn still annoys me.  When he’s not nasally stumbling through the latest rendition of a song that no one knows, he’s basically playing the glue for a volatile glee club.  For all his togetherness preaching, he’s still just a selfish boy who is willing to out Santana just because she called him fat.  Fortunately, Santana can handle herself.  Finn is no match for her.  The whole teen marriage thing is also a lame storyline for Finn.  Basically, it just seems like he wanted to hitch his wagon to Rachel’s rising star.  Everyone knew the wedding would never happen, but I don’t think anyone expected him to enlist in the army.  (Granted, the writers did everything they could to disparage the armed services, saying that joining was “insane” and eluding to returning soldiers turning into druggies.)  Still, he’s not a terrible character, but he won’t really be missed.  Oh wait, he comes back in Season 4.  Lame.  
Best musical performance: “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” by Meat Loaf
Worst musical performance: “More Than a Woman” by the Bee Gees

12) Quinn Fabray

The writers have never known what to do with Quinn.  They got by with it in the first season because she was pregnant and came across as the hypocritical Christian girl that had a chance at redemption.  Since then, she’s gone off the deep end.  Last season, she was side-lined, but this season she’s back to full-on crazy.  According to the writers, breaking up with your boyfriend brings back PPD that she’d somehow staved off for a year.  So she starts out the year whacked out, hell-bent to make an unfit mother out of Shelby Corcoran so she and Puck can get Beth back, then ends the year getting into Yale and making herself the poster child for an anti-texting-while-driving campaign.  Oh, and let’s not forget that she kind of throws the Bible under the bus as a way to explain away its stance on homosexuality.  She never accomplishes anything of note the whole season, and is sidelined musically by the Rachel-Mercedes-Santana show.  
Best musical performance: “Take My Breath Away” by Berlin
Worst musical performance: “Never Can Say Goodbye” by The Jackson Five

13) Kurt Hummel

So, the thing that I actually liked this season is that the writers finally got off this you-must-love-Kurt bandwagon.  Oh, sure, they still push his character’s agenda, but it’s not as in your face this season.  However, Kurt is still as unlikable as he’s always been.  Still the victim, still can’t sing a man’s song to save his life.  Quite frankly, it’s his voice that just drives me up the wall.  I get the fact that he’s supposed to be flamboyant, but just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you have to sing lady songs at every opportunity.  Plus, I’ve never understood where he gets all the money to buy his ridiculous outfits.  I thought the Hummel/Hudson household was trying to make ends meet.  And that’s another thing, I’ve always hated Kurt’s holier-than-thou attitude.  He looks down on people who don’t “get” him, while preaching tolerance and acceptance.  What a hypocrite.  Typical liberal.  Also, his holiday rant about climate change was just icing on the fermented cake that is his character.
Best musical performance: “Not the Boy Next Door” from The Boy from Oz
Worst musical performance: “I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston

14) Blaine Anderson

While Blaine is more talented than Kurt, his character was one of two things this year – he was either overwritten or underwritten.  And either way, he’s annoying.  First, the writers try to establish him as “one of the guys” or as a masculine gay – all the while, he’s sporting outfits that would make him an instant target of ridicule in any real high school.  Then he plays a card out of Kurt’s deck, singing lady songs like they were meant solely for him.  He’s got nothing on Whitney or Christina, so I don’t know why he even tried.  Admittedly, he was a better choice to play Tony in West Side Story, but that was his one brief shining moment of the season.  The rest of the time it’s as if we have to suffer through his various pity parties: Kurt “cheating”, Brittany’s ban on hair gel at prom, long distance romance, going all the way, etc.  Basically he was sidelined as an annoying side-show (i.e. Sue’s labeling of him as “other gay”), despite having talent higher than his character arc.  Oh, and the whole love triangle with Sebastian was under-baked.  At least Sebastian is honest about who he is.  Oh, and maybe I’m reading way too into this, but I’m guessing that Blaine’s contentious relationship with his brother, Cooper, is just the tip of the iceberg with his familial problems.  (And yes, that was my tactful way of saying that Blaine probably has daddy issues.)
Best musical performance: “One Hand, One Heart” from West Side Story
Worst musical performance: (tie) “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera and “It’s Not Right but It’s Okay” by Whitney Houston

15) Sam Evans

Quite honestly, Sam wanted to be this low on my list.  That is, the writers of the show wanted me to really hate his character this year.  Last year, he was the new kid who could kind of sing but didn’t really break out.  (His Justin Bieber phase didn’t help.)  This year, he was absent for half the season, only knows stripper dance moves, and seemed to demean/redefine Christianity at every opportunity.  Honestly, if Paul Schreiber had known how terribly written Sam’s character would be in later episodes, he probably wouldn’t have agreed to play his father.  He’s not that great of a singer, and the      whole trying to win Mercedes back thing got old after a while.  But I could have gotten over those two character flaws.  The writers obviously had an agenda with his character, wanting him to be the face of the Christianity that they want.  (Team him with Joe, the other Christian character, and they have a chance to rebrand Christianity into a new world, if-it-feels-good-do-it ersatz religion.)  Oh, and the writers clearly don’t get it.  He’s a junior in high school working at a male strip club – because that makes perfect sense.  
Best musical performance: “Bamboleo”/”Hero” by the Gipsy Kings/Enrique Iglesias
Worst musical performance: “Red Solo Cup” by Toby Keith

16) Will Shuester

Words cannot express my utter distain for this man-lesbian.  He is by far the most annoying character on the show.  Now that he and Emma have finally hooked up, it’s like he needed a new project to [douche] up.  So he gets Kurt’s dad to run for Congress against Sue – who wants to cut funding for the arts in schools.  He’s too busy to direct West Side Story, but he’s got time to be a campaign manager?  Seriously, these writers need to go back to writing school.  Oh, and the whole “I need to help Santana come out” mantra was sheer lunacy.  And don’t even get me started on the Spanish-teacher-who-doesn’t-know-Spanish debacle.  (Santana tore him down over this. So hot.  Until the writers made her get sappy.)  Oh, and let’s not forget that he asks Finn to be his best man because Finn has taught him more about being a man than anyone else.  That speaks volumes right there.  He’s the kind of teacher who sits at home at night and isn’t only friends with his students on Facebook, but comments on their statuses and pictures with imaginative comments like “lol” and “omg”.  I think what I really missed was how disparaged he was when Sue was at the top of her game.  With the two of them teaming up at the end of the season, it’s easy to see why I hated him more as time went on.  Plus, he’s not that great of a singer.  And have you seen his hair?
Best musical performance: “Fix You” by Coldplay (which is still terrible, but the best of the worst)
Worst musical performance: “Night Fever” by the Bee Gees

New Characters:

1. Harmony (Lindsay Pearce)
   The most short-changed new character of the season is clearly the most interesting.  A sophomore with drive to rival Rachel’s, she’s got the pipes to back her up.  Clearly she’s not going to let the rivalry between McKinley and her school get her down.  After all she’s “only a sophomore and [she’s] already this good; next year’s going to be a bloodbath!”  Hopefully the writers bring her back, but that would infer that they would make a smart decision.  Unlikely.  Where was Sunshine Corazon this season?  Exactly. 
2. Rory Flanagan (Damian McGinty)
   I actually kind of like Rory, but his perpetual longing for “snogging” was kind of annoying.  But it was nice to have someone who actually tried to embrace the true meaning of Christmas, and he’s actually got a pretty good singing voice for an Irishman. 
3. Joe Hart (Samuel Larsen) 
   While he’s probably going to tank this season, since the writers clearly have it out for his faith, the guy was still relatively likable.  Clearly the writers are so transfixed with stereotypes that they applied every single one in the book to this homeschool kid.  Fortunately, he stays true to his beliefs with only minor exceptions.  But for a Christian on this show, that’s pretty good.  He’s not a terrible singer, but that “tarantula hair” needs to go. 
4. Sebastian Smythe (Grant Gustin)
   Meant to be a third-wheel to the lesbian bed death known as Blaine and Kurt, this guy is about the only likable gay guy on the show.  Not because he’s gay, he’s just straight-forward (I know, poor choice of words) in his intentions.  I mean, he’s got nothing on Santana.  Their throw-down on “Smooth Criminal” is evidence of that, but at least he’s honest about who he is, and isn’t afraid to cut Kurt down.  Though, the writers did kind of wreck his character with the whole Karofsky debacle. 
5. Sugar Motta (Vanessa Lengies)
   From the moment she attempts “Big Spender”, I knew I wouldn’t like Sugar.  However, she’s perfectly played out as the rich girl who gets whatever she wants.  It just doesn’t make sense that she’d try to pal around with the glee kids, if they’re allegedly the social pariahs of McKinley. 
6. Roz Washington (NeNe Leakes)
   I’ll give one thing and one thing only to Roz – she’s the only one who’s ever been able to go head-to-head with Sue.  That said, the jokes her bronze medal in individual synchronized swimming and those about Sue bearing a full-grown baby get old quick.  Even when the writers try to develop her character into something more they fail.  Plus, is it just me, or is her character suspicious when you find out she’s played by one of those “real housewives” of somewhere. 
7. Wade “Unique” Adams (Alex Newell)As if Kurt weren’t annoying enough, now we have to have a transgender character?  I get that this show is about acceptance, but this is just meant to be a boundary-pusher.  Plus, the songs s/he sings are annoying – regardless of her/his (disturbing) talent.

Supporting Players

1. Becky Jackson
   I don’t know why, but I really liked Becky this year.  The writers almost got her right, for a change.  They make her into an ordinary girl, despite her Downs.  She’s driven, sassy, and totally on-board with Sue’s schemes.  Naturally, I gravitate toward her attitude.  In fact, I’m pretty sure she’s more honest than Sue was this year. 
2. Shannon Beiste
   What wasn’t to like about the Beiste?  Okay, yes, she was kind of the alpha to the beta known as Shuester in an almost lesbian-esque relationship, but she wasn’t a ploy last year the way she was this year.  She did have a couple relatively good songs. 
3. Dave Karofsky
   As if Karofsky wasn’t a terribly-written character last year, but this year he’s the poster child for suicide from bullying. If McKinley is so inclusive of Kurt, why did he ever leave? 
4. Burt Hummel
   The “coolest dad” of the group once again lands at the bottom of the list of side characters.  Not only does his write-in candidacy make no sense whatsoever, his part in telling Finn that his dad wasn’t a war hero, but died a junkie was inexcusable.  Oh, and let’s not forget his part in basically outing Santana. 

Guest Stars

1. Becky Jackson’s Inner Monologue (Helen Mirren)
   Never onscreen for a moment, Mirren gives great vocalization to Becky’s inner voice.  Plus, it’s so self-aware that it’s probably the best cameo of the season.  Plus, hearing the Oscar-winner speak in high school lingo is a delight. 
2. Shelby Corcoran (Idina Menzel)
   While I’ll never object to having Menzel on the show, her appearance this season was kind of useless.  It was a plot point that was only half baked, and while it did allow for amusing circumstances with Puck, it never brought anything of note to the show.  Still, it’s nice to hear her and Rachel belt out tunes together. 
3. David Martinez (Ricky Martin)
   My annoyances with Ricky Martin’s appearance on this show are threefold.  1) Pretty sure he only landed the gig because he came out of the closet, 2) his existence was to push for learning Spanish, and 3) he sang a bilingual version of LMFAO’s most annoying tune ever, “I’m Sexy and I Know It”.  I mean, he made relatively good music with Santana, but it’s hard to overlook his other blights. 
4. Cooper Anderson (Matt Bomer)
   In a word, annoying.  I realize that he’s supposed to be, but unintentionally, he’s incredibly irritating.  Plus, I’m pretty sure the only way Bomer landed the gig is because, like Martin, he came out of the closet. 
5. Lindsay Lohan and Perez Hilton
   Why were they even on this show?  Okay, the latter, obviously because he’s gay.  But the former?  Rebranding? 

I'm done.  It took forever to format this thing, so yeah.  This show wasn't worth the effort I took to write this review.