Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Obama Show: State of the Union 2012 Edition

8:00 – and it begins…let’s see how late this bloviating windbag is.
And the excerpts begin.
And the Giffords adulation begins.
And now we’re on to commentary about Michelle’s guests.
Ooo. There’s Hillary, playing the room, making sure to say hi to Gabby.  Joe “Plugs” too.
“Note a tone of optimism,” Obama told the evening news answers (aka, his public relations spokespeople).
Now they’re setting up Boehner as the villain.  And this is FOX.
Wow, he’s here.  And it’s only 8:05.  Impressive.  Looking very made up in his typical yellow tint again.  I really don’t get these reps and senators wanting to fawn over him as he walks in.  I wonder if they’ll do the same when they go home to their constituents.
Who’s that that just said he’s retiring?  While on that note, THIS HAD BETTER BE THE LAST SOTU I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH WITH THIS ABYSMAL EXCUSE FOR A PRESIDENT.
Oh, Claire.  There you are.  This better be your last SOTU too.
And the press goes wild with the Obama/Giffords moment.  Look, I get it, but this is old news.
EESH! Debbie Wasserman-Shultz, you are just scary.
John, you’re not looking as tan today.
Let’s get this started already.  I’m bored.
Nice fake smile, Michelle.
Why are people standing and clapping?  I get the whole “respect the office” thing, but I don’t respect the man.
Oh, there’s TOTUS.  Glad it could make it.
And it begins.
And we’re already on the whole I ended the war in Iraq bit.  “For the first time in nine years, there are no American troops fighting in Iraq…Osama bin Laden is not a threat…”  Trying to prop up your foreign policy credentials – FAIL.
Yes, we get it, you’re trying to sell the idea that you like our troops.  Your actions speak louder than words.
I’m so bored with this already.  At least he hasn’t said “pass this bill” yet.  Speaking of which, should I be drinking adult beverages?  The answer is yes.
Where’s he going with this?  This isn’t the end of WWII, buddy.  This is the house that you built.  Your policies are not “keeping that promise alive”, they’re killing what is known and cherished as the American Dream.
And now we’re on to class warfare.
We don’t need a [freaking] history lesson.  We know what happened in 2008 with the economy – we also know that 64 million idiots elected you.
“Those are the facts,”  Really?  Did you get those facts from MSNBC?
“The state of our union is getting stronger…I will work with anyone in this chamber”  You’re so full of it.  Boehner’s face says it all.
Ooo.  There’s one drinking word: “blueprint”.  Coke Zero will just have to suffice.
Thanks for that shout out to your union buddies at the big three auto manufacturers.
I wish this guy was on the O’Reilly Factor.  This is pure spin.  Bill would eat him alive.
“We should start with our tax code…”  Oh, I’ve got a litany of ways you could work on that, like ditch it all together.
I wonder if this hurts him to say this stuff.  Clearly this is an election year, and he’s vying for every vote possible, but I don’t think he likes the idea that corporations should have lower taxes of any kind.
Imports and exports, yeah that’s all well and good.  How about you bring this kind of effort to the energy sector.
“Trade enforcement unit”  I wonder if that is going to be like the war on poverty/drugs – because we see how well that’s working out.  Oh, and when you enforce trading, will you bow to those countries leaders?
Shout out to Siemens via sob story of the chic sitting next to Michelle.  Plus, that chic is scary – and she’s sitting next to Michelle, as if that weren’t enough.
Yes, putting people to work is great.  But guess what?  Companies are so scared of what you’re going to do next, that they don’t want to hire/expand.
And now we’re on to education.  Yeah, because we’re churning out some great scholars these days.  Has anyone seen the state of our schools after the billions of dollars we’ve poured into them.
“Teachers matter”  Translation: “Teachers unions matter”
“When students are not allowed to drop out, they do better”  Yeah, because that will solve all our problems.
Al Franken – one reason our political system is becoming a joke.
“…We’ll run out of money.”  WE’RE ALREADY OUT OF MONEY, YOU IDIOT!!!!!
And now we’re on to illegal immigrants in college.  “We should take on illegal immigration.”  Let’s start with your uncle then, hypocrite.
“If election year politics…”  That’s a two-way street, douche.
And now he’s talking down to us.
Is it just me, or is this a very safe speech?  He’s half an hour in, and I’m really not worked up.  Wait, it’s election year, and he’s obsessed with getting reelected.  Have I mentioned that I’m bored?
“American made energy”  Oh, this ought to be good.  Did anyone say Keystone Pipeline?
“Oil isn’t enough”  Solyndra, anyone?
Okay, now I’m getting worked up.  I can’t even put into words how awful his argument is.
Now he’s propping up government funded energy research.  Is that where we got the Chevy Volt?
Energetics.  Is that the new Solyndra?
“Some companies fail.”  Kind of sound like Mitt, there.  Too bad you’ll try to turn
“Pass clean energy tax credits.  Create these jobs.”  Weren’t you just talking about how complicated the tax code is?
Is it just me, or is he pausing/stumbling/trying to go slow too often tonight?
Oh, and this whole, talking down to congressmen is irritating.  It’s like Kyle Orton going up to Eli Manning and saying, “You’re not working hard enough”
I’m intrigued by this war money for infrastructure/paying down the debt.  Almost sounds good (to the untrained ear), but it’s really bad that he doesn’t get the fact that we’re $15 trillion in debt.
“No bailouts, no handouts, no copouts.”  Really?  Have you changed course from three years ago, when bailouts were all the rage in Washington?
Oh, there we are, blaming more on Bush.  I knew he couldn’t go an entire speech without one zinger.
Oh, you’re so funny.  A spilled milk joke while talking about regulations.
He’s trying to set himself up as the savior, by saying he’ll protect our kids from mercury and our shores from oil spills.  Too bad that was just a lead-in for his anti-Wall Street rant.
Ooo.  Richard Cordrey – illegally appointed.
I don’t know if it’s that I’m bored or if this speech is just disjointed and a failing attempt at a campaign speech.  It’s basically boiling down to an anti-Congress rant.
Now he’s talking about stopping the looming tax increase.  Does he realize that it’s his party is what’s holding it up?
“Pass the payroll tax cut without delay.”  Tell Harry to take a hike and let John and Mitch do their jobs.
And now we’re on to the class warfare again via Warren Buffet’s secretary.
Now we’re on to Medicare and Social Security.  HAVE YOU EVEN LOOKED AT PAUL RYAN’S BILL?!
Class warfare fair share crap again.  “Washington should stop subsidizing millionaires.”  What is this, an Occupy shout-out?
“We don’t begrudge financial success in this country,”  No, the majority of Americans don’t.  You and your party do.  That is, you begrudge them if they’re not donating to your reelection campaign.
“Shared responsibility”  Translation: “making more people dependent on government”
“…most Americans are thinking right now, nothing in Washington will get done this year.”  “Washington is broken…”  I thought they elected you to fix that.
Why don’t you just throw a tantrum already over this whole debt debate.
“Bipartisan support”  Is that another code word/phrase?  More Coke Zero.
Is Ruth Bader-Ginsborgh asleep?  Because I should be.
“a perpetual campaign of mutual destruction”  Brought on in large part, most of the time by your party.
Yep, trying to channel Honest Abe.  What irony.
“…a smarter, more effective government…” begins with replacing you in November.
Please tell me he’s wrapping this up?  55 minutes in and I’m more bored than I was when I watched The Descendants.
Boehner looks like he’s in pain.  I agree.
And here he goes trying to claim credit for Ghadaffi or whatever the deuce his name is (was).
He’s talking about preventing a nuclear Iran, but I’m pretty sure he’d bow to their leaders if given the chance.
I call total [malarkey] on his talking points on Israel.  He is so anti-Israel, that it’s scary.
Okay, you’re at an hour.  You’re getting old. Actually, you got old over three years ago, and I’m not talking about your gray hair.
And back to the troops.  Yes, they’re awesome.  But guess what, most of them don’t dig the fact that you’re their boss.  Biggest standing ovation of the night, and it has nothing to do with his policies.
I kind of want to fire up Tetris right now, because I’m so bored.
Now he’s talking about firefighters and cops.  Look, I like the fact that we have cops and firefighters, but I’m not too keen on the idea that he’s pandering to them, so as to secure their union dues for the DNC.
And back to bin Laden.  Does he still not get that he pretty much had nothing to do with that?  “No one thought about politics…”  No, the troops and intelligence guys didn’t, but you were probably jumping up and down with glee saying, “Maybe this will give my poll numbers a boost!”
“those 50 stars and 13 stripes”  I’m impressed that you got the numbers right.  I’m kind of surprised you didn’t say “those 57 stars”
Finally, he’s done.  Was there an over-under on speech length?  Because I called one hour.  I was over by 6 minutes.  Should’ve guessed.
Let’s get to Mitch Daniels, please.  I need to go to the gym and work off some steam.  Not that his speech was infuriating due to content, but an utter bore.  So I need to burn off some frustration for how much of my time was wasted.
Yes, his policies were veiled in this vapid excuse for a speech, but make no mistake, this guy is dangerous.  We can’t afford to reelect him or members of his party that will march in lock-step with whatever he proposes.  I still don’t think that he’s a great orator, nor is he convincing.
Chris Wallace, you’re drinking the Kool-Aid.  It wasn’t a great speech.
Interesting.  Wallace says Boehner is playing the part of Rip Van Winkle, saying he’s pretty much been sleeping the last three years.  This speech was a pretty good argument for that.
This is probably a pun that’s been used, but I find it ironic that his initials are “B.O.” because he stinks.
And the Giffords adulation continues.  I’m glad she’s retiring.  Not because she’s a Democrat, but because she’s not following her party’s typical modus operandi, which is to stay in office, regardless of circumstances, to maintain power.
Now Wallace is propping up Daniels.  Let’s let him speak already.
Wallace is finally addressing how Obama barely mentioned the debt.  I bet you won’t here Georgie on ABC mention that.
Obama wanted people to come away from the speech more optimistic.  I’m not.
Now, Mitch Daniels.
I really don’t need to do running commentary on this, because he’s doing pretty well himself.
I do wish Republicans would get away from the term “middle class”.  I really like how Rick Santorum uses the term “middle income.”
Thank you, Mitch, for addressing the crippling debt and drawing a line between us and Europe.
“criticisms of failures that anyone can see”  Yes, anyone but those who watch MSNBC.
YES!  Thanks for referencing the Keystone Pipeline!
Medicare and Social security reforms.  Nice.
“…broken, grossly complex tax system”  Agreed.
Thanks for mentioning how the Republicans in Congress are passing bills, but Harry and his Senate cronies, as well as Obama, are the real obstructionists.
YES! “…a Niagra of debt”  Perfect analogy.
Ha!  “We might pick the wrong lightbulb.”  Love it!
“…the government is meant to serve the people, rather than supervise them.”  Amen!
Nice.  Much more substance than the last hour.
Okay, enough commentating.  Hope this was more entertaining to read than it was to watch.

Friday, January 6, 2012